My dearest Chulbuli Pandey – a letter to the Yamuna river in flood

Jyoti Sharma, President FORCE posted this in Civic Planning, Environment Protection, Uncategorized, Water Management, Water Wisdom on September 14th, 2010

My dearest Chulbuli Pandey,

Aah! Yamuna meri jaan – kya dabangg cheez ho tum ! Ekdum se aisa jhatka de diya, ki sab ko hilaa kar rakh diya!  Kyun chhamiya – itna gussa kis baat ka ??

Like Shahrukh ‘Don’ Khan’s ‘Junglee Billi’ –  in one fit of anger you’ve demolished all delusions we had about being your masters!

We thought we’d tamed you – we Zero sized you, by damming you up; weighed down your frail body by dumping all our kachra in you – and sat happily in our ivory towers thinking – bhookhi billi kya panja maregi??

Your long time, and some part time, lovers shouted themselves hoarse  trying to warn  us. They said, “ She might look emaciated and incapable of even looking after herself, but don’t forget – she’s basically a big boned woman! The day she gets a proper city woman’s diet of double the dose she actually needs – she’ll plump out nicely. She’ll spread out of the little black dresses, you’ve been force-fitting her into, to embarrass the living lights out of you !”

They told the honble judges and the honble leaders and the honble babus, that you’re not so honble… and so you need a big bed to sleep on. They  pleaded and fought and drove all the know-alls, bats, with their antics to stop anyone from sitting on your bed ! But the honble types looked on pityingly, and said – “ pyaar mein paglaa gaye hain bechare. Bolne do – inke dil ko sukoon milega. Phir bhool jao – apna apna kaam karo”  So they sat on your bed in droves – the unwanted poor of the city; the much hunted, but never found, Gods; and an entire city that came up for sportsmen who – now – would give away their gold medals to be anywhere but in this spanking new city!

Ok…ab samajh mein aaya – tujhe gussa kyun aaya – Tere aashikon kaa mazaak jo udaya ! Tabhi tune socha,, “chal bachchoo ek baar zara izzatdar logon ko, thodi beizzati ki jhalak dikha doon.” So first you put on all the weight you could – became this well-fed, poorly exercised, rich city woman- and then….you sat on your bed! You sat your big fat backside on all those who thought your bed was available for all.

Arre meri kadakti bijli – ab toh sab ko set kar diya hai na tune! Tere dar se aaj kal Chief Minster ko neend nahi aati – tu zara phailti hai, toh woh bahut sikudtin hain! Aur to aur aaj kal sare honble babu, Walkie Talkie, le kar ghoomte hain – tu aur chaudhi hokar, saari duniya ke saamne unki izzat ka aur falooda na kare, is dar se, teri diet par minute minute ki khabar rakhte hain !

Chal yaar, ab gussa thook de. Bahut dukhi hain bechaare. Hum bhi tere aashik hain puraane – zara hamari bhi sun le!

So, hello there…. all you honble types – how’bout striking a barter – Chulbuli Pandey has agreed to save you from international disgrace….. will you now, give her back, what is RIGHTFULLY hers?? .

Jyoti Sharma